


Love or abuse?

by Yu_Kagami



Series: Haikyuu Angst oneshots/twoshots (Lets torture Hinata) [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depressed Hinata Shouyou, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Karasuno Family, NoBeta, Other, References to Depression, Sad, Twoshot, minor self-harm, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25765099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yu_Kagami/pseuds/Yu_Kagami
Summary: Hinata doesn't realise that he is being abused until the team points it out when he came to school bruised one day.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Karasuno Volleyball Club
Series: Haikyuu Angst oneshots/twoshots (Lets torture Hinata) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859377
Comments: 3
Kudos: 253





	Love or abuse?

**Author's Note:**

> A two shot, hopefully.

Not good enough.

Those words were what Shouyou had always lived by. 

People outside couldn’t see it but Shouyou considered himself a perfectionist in things he is passionate about, such as art, music and especially volleyball. And if he was being honest, he himself doesn’t even know when this cycle of self deprecation and non stop comparison started. 

His parents always wanted him to be perfect, he was always inferior to him or her in their eyes, if he wasn’t better than him or her there will be punishment, if he didn’t practice his piano recital until they are satisfied, there won’t be dinner, if he didn’t come home in time, there will be a beating, if he skipped class he will be kicked out of the house for a day at least, if he failed classes he will be locked in the toilet dark and alone. But Shouyou didn’t blame his parents for the pain they caused him no matter how hard it was to swallow the fact he will never be good enough, he was pretty sure being physically punished was something normal anyways and even if it isn’t Shouyou believed that it was his fault, despite other people telling him that.

“Nobody is perfect.”

“Nobody deserves to be mistreated.”

“You are good the way you are.”

Shouyou never believed in those words, to him, they were illogical, nobody can move forward without punishment, there is always room for improvement, how can he be good enough the way he is if he can’t even please his birth givers? 

Maybe that is why he didn’t blame his parents when they had bruised him and cut his waist up when he returned home from practice later than usual, he accepted his punishment silently, he didn’t scream or cry, he stood there and took it without any complaints, he listened in every insult thrown at him, believing in the cruel words and holding onto them dearly. He loved his parents, and his parents must love him too, which is why he believed that whatever they said or do is or his own good and he must accept them no matter how harsh it is.

After the scolding, he silently thanked his parents for their time and patience with him, they nodded in approval before sending him to his room without dinner, Shouyou wordlessly accepted it and made his way to his safe place, ignoring the ever annoying loving cheers of his sister and parents from behind, as Shouyou closed the door, a crystal clear droplet slipped down his swollen cheek.

“Why am I never enough when Natsu is?”

A destructive thought managed to make its way into his already toxic mind, that night, Shouyou wept quietly in his tear soaked bed sheets until sleepiness dawned over him.

\---------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Shouyou was woken up by the irritating ringing of his alarm clock, he groaned audibly and shut down the chiming clock violently before throwing off his comfy bed sheets, he was about to change before realising he was somehow already in his school uniform, he looked over it with as much focus as possible with the blurry focus of mornings. Unsurprisingly, he managed to spot ugly stains of tears on his dirtied shirt, Shouyou sighed exhaustingly and whipped off his uniform.

The mirror in front of him reflected the scars of his body, Shouyou frowned upon seeing his body’s hideous state. He would have almost swore that the mirror was making the scars look worse than they actually were if it wasn’t for the fact that mirrors can't reflect things better or in this case, worse than they look. 

Shouyou silently thanked himself for being more responsible these days when he saw that the only fresh injuries were from yesterday and that he actually managed to not make anymore mistakes for almost an entire month. Honestly speaking, he was actually kind of impressed with himself, but he quickly shook off that feeling knowing he should never be satisfied until he is good enough.

The bruised boy glanced at the clock and panicked, he was going to be late if he kept on getting lost in his own thoughts, he immediately dressed himself up and cleaned his face, ignoring the raw cut that slashed across his cheek and the crisp bruises that decorated his neck from being strangled. He got on his bike and rode to school.

He was for once almost late for practice when he arrive, by the time he was at the club room, it was empty, which implied that everyone has already changed and went ahead to the gym, so Shouyou also dropped down his things carelessly and rapidly pulled over his school uniform then dressed himself in gym attire before rushing over to the gym.

He pushed the door open, excited for another day of practice, he smiled happily at the sight of his teammates, he closed the door sloppily making a rather loud sound before dashing towards his friends jumpily, cheering apologetically as he skipped over.

“Sorry that I am a bit late! I got distracted this morning!”

When the Karasuno team spotted him, they grinned back and Tanaka being the dumbass he is, also yelled back at Shouyou.

“Woohoo! Hinata! We have been waiting for you!”

Nishinoya also called to Shouyou happily, his tone matching Tanaka.  
“Shouyou!! My favourite Kouhai is finally here!!”

Sugawara was also about to welcome Shouyou before he saw the wounded state of his junior as Shouyou was approaching, his excitement devolved briskly and concern slipped up onto him.

“Hinata?”

Shouyou twinkled delightfully and replied actively.

“Yeah?”

The rest of the cheerful smiles flattered when all the injuries Shouyou received from yesterday came clear to sight.

“Boke what the fuck? Who the hell beat you up?”

Shouyou was confused for a moment before realising the bruises on his neck which were on display. He laughed sheepishly and nervously patted the back of his neck, resisting the urge to scratch it out of anxiety.

“Aha, sorry my parents punished me yesterday because I was a bit late, I am fine though don’t worry!”

Shouyou tensed up as soon as the word “punished” left his mouth, it really did feel different having it come out from his mouth, his parents usually just hit him on the waist or chest, which is why he never really needed to explain them or ever knew that the situation he was in was not normal. When he didn’t receive a verbal response but a tinge of silence instead, Shouyou was sweating incredibly, he never did well with deafening quietude. 

“Why are you guys just standing there? Lets practice! I can barely wait anymore!”

Shouyou tried to break through the uncomfortable air with a joyous remark.

“Shouyou what the fuck is wrong with your parents? Who in the world will do this to their child? I understand if it is just a few slaps but this is crossing over the line.”

Shouyou physically flinched at Nishinoya’s comment, he dug his nails into his neck when the rest also gave opinions of their own.

“For once, I agree with Nishinoya, this isn’t even punishment, Hinata, this is abuse.”

Ennoshita who had been silent from the beginning spoke up.

“Yeah, Shrimpy, what the hell? You are definitely not okay.”

Tsukishima who was usually snarky calmly stated.

“Hinata dumbass I will fucking murder your parents!”

Kageyama swore out loud furiously, crimson flaring over his iris. 

Shouyou felt like the need to defend his guardians and before anyone else could say something. He said out nervously while avoiding eye contact.

“Uh d-don’t talk about them like that, they are good people, besides I deserved it, I wasn’t good enough for them.”

Thankfully, this time there wasn’t silence after he spoke, instead Daichi crossed in angrily.

“Hinata. Nobody deserves punishment like that you-”

The fury in Shouyou’s voice when he had yelled also shook himself.

“Everyone always say that! Just shut up, it is fine, I am okay, lets just practice!”

Shouyou stumbled away in an unusually furious manner. Before he felt a strong grip clinging onto his arm, throwing him back. Shouyou jerked his head back in surprise and flinched violently, unable to suppress it this time. 

“Hinata! That is because it isn’t normal!”

Daichi said in worry which was covered up in wrath.

Shouyou wasn’t able to muster a response, so instead he just lowered his head in defeat.

Daichi huffed out tiredly and crouched down a bit to Shouyou’s level and gently pet his head.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to yell, it is just, please just listen to us Hinata.”

Shouyou didn’t reply, he didn’t know how to, so he just nodded timidly and mumbled softly under his breath.

“I am sorry for snapping too, sorry can we talk about this after school, I uh, I don’t, sorry.”

Sugawara took this as an opportunity to chip into the conversation.

“It is okay, Hinata, you can have some alone time, I know it is a lot to take in, so it is fine, take your time, but we will be coming to your classroom to pick you up later, just so you know.”

Shouyou nodded again and walked away wordlessly, not daring to look up to anyone’s faces as he walked by, the team just watch their depressed middle blocker stepping away in despair. Kageyama was the first to speak when the door was slid close soundlessly.

“Sugawara-senpai, is he going to be okay?”

Sugawara shook his head and made his way to the volleyballs all while muttering out a response to Kageyama's oblivious question.

"We can never know as for now, we can just hope that everything will go well."

Nobody dared to speak after the heavy reality dawned down on them and the rest of the practice was spent quietly exception for the occasional yelling, there wasn't communication between them at all.


End file.
